Let’s talk about pills for a few moments, shall we?

I mean, we shall.

It’s my show and I make the rules, but let’s talk about pills.

My youngest son Liam is 12 and he was the last one of the Freedmen’s here to learn to swallow pills.

And so he was going into children’s chewables for longer than anybody else, which makes sense because he’s the youngest, all those things.

But he was taking children’s chewable ibuprofen on occasion, which is really meant for kids under 12 or maybe 12 and under.

But it was like it was time to be done.

It was time to learn to swallow pills.

And so we did all the things that parents do.

We worked with mini M&Ms, sprinkles.

I don’t think he ever did the Tic Tacs.

I know Sierra did Tic Tacs, but he was struggling for a bit.

And what it came down to was, as I think is often the case, a fear that he was going to choke on these pills and something bad would happen.

So we really went through the psychological logic, or as I like to call it, the psychologic of the idea that these pills can’t get stuck in your throat.

The pill is so much smaller than your throat that you don’t have to worry.

Here’s a visualization of your throat and its circumference, and here’s the size of the pill and why this should be doable and easy.

And he got there, and he got there to the point where now he loves taking pills.

Not that he’s just popping pills all the time, which would be a different problem, but if there’s a problem that he can handle with a pill, he’d love to.

When we send the kids to summer camp, they take multivitamins.

And he hates the chewable one that he’s used every year for the past couple of years because it’s tart.

And he’s like, isn’t there a swallowable vitamin C I can take?

And I just thought that was funny.

But I take a bunch of pills, which I’ve discussed on this podcast in the past.

You can find a previous episode of the show and hear all the different things I take.

And I take them all at once, which Liam finds very impressive.

He sometimes takes his allergy pill dry, which he’s very proud of.

I don’t take pills dry.

But when I’ve got a pill bottle, which is mortifying to me, but it helps keep track of the 872 different pills I take each day.

And I tend to think of myself as being good at reloading that pill bottle.

Now, when I refill it, I refill it when it’s empty, but that can vary a little bit based on how things are going.

Right?

Like today, I just used the first day of the pill bottle a bit.

So Wednesday is empty.

So I’ve got obviously all the rest of the day.

So this coming Tuesday or Wednesday, I’ll refill it again.

But when I refill it, I also take out the pills for that day that I’m doing the refilling.

So when I refill it, Thursday will be the first day to get emptied because I won’t take them out of Wednesday.

Thursday will be full and then I’ll have extra the eighth set of pills as I’m reloading to take that day.

You get it.

But I have found historically that I’m really good at pouring out the right number of pills into my hand to exactly fill the pill bottle and then have the extra required for that day’s dose as I’m reallocating.

And I was thinking, oh, maybe I’ll talk about that as I refilled the pill bottle yesterday.

And then I was thinking, or a pill box.

And I was thinking as I did that, is that even an episode?

Can that sustain an episode?

I’m so good at him and pouring out the exact right amount and then distributing it perfectly.

The answer to that question is no.

But hilariously, after I had that thought, I wasn’t bragging to you or to myself about it.

I wasn’t showing off to anybody in the room or anything.

I was by myself in the office.

But after I had that thought, I did so poorly.

I knocked a pill on the floor that I had to find.

I dumped like 18 vitamin D’s into Tuesday.

I had way too few pills for a distribution.

I had way too many pills for another.

Like it was so bad.

As soon as I had the thought of, hey, I should talk about how good I am at doing this and how I can just like by instinct, pour out the right number of pills.

I got every version of it wrong that you could for each new pill that I was allocating to that pill box.

So I thought that was funny.

I thought that was actually a better topic than, hey, I’m good at allocating my pills.

Hey, I think I’m good at allocating my pills and just did it horrifically badly.

Like if it was a sitcom, you’d think this is too over the top, even for like a nineties Tim Allen sitcom.

You’d be like, no, nobody’s that slapsticky bad at distributing their own bills.

But indeed at that moment, I really was like, it was, it was mortifyingly embarrassing, but it was funny.

Uh, I laughed and was embarrassed at myself and I was like, I’ll never tell anyone this happened except for 10.2 million.

You were daily Lex listeners and thank you all so much for listening.

If you can send me $1, that’d be great.

Um, every day, if you’ve had no, uh, anyway, that’s all I got pills.

I can take them.

And that makes me think of the Beyonce or destiny’s child song about, can you pay my bills?

Um, which, you know, can you take my pills?

Yes, I guess I can.

Of course the, I think that bills, bills, bills by destiny’s child.

One of maybe, uh, the most popular song to have a pun in its chorus.

Uh, I I’m willing to try to defend that claim, but you know, can you pay my bills?

Can you pay my telephone bills?

Can you pay my automobiles?

That’s the third lyric of that chorus.

Can you pay my automobiles?

Uh, that’s a pun.

Great job, Beyonce, et cetera.

Anyway, happy Wednesday.

Thanks for the shut up, anything else, stay awesome.

Bye.

Lex.