Okay, I have haircut updates and life updates, but first of course, we need a theme song.

Specifically this show’s theme song.

Anything else would be very weird.

So I did go to get the haircut yesterday as promised to eliminate the mullet situation.

place that I like.

My hairstylist, my barber had perfect English and he was like, you’re not at a mullet yet, but it’s, I see why you’re concerned.

And he cut it probably a little bit shorter than I wanted, but it’s fine.

It always grows back so I can’t get too stressed about it.

What’s hard sometimes is I get in my head about how to answer their questions first of all, because at one point he’s like, are you going to shave?

And I knew what he meant.

I was like, no, I keep stubble all the time.

He’s like, okay, because otherwise I’d put lines in at the bottom of the sideburns.

I’m like, no, don’t do that because I’m not going to, the stubble will always be there.

He’s like, okay, no problem.

Then later he’s like, do you want a hot towel?

I’m like, who’s going to say no to that?

But then it’s weird because I got this guy putting a hot towel on my face and it’s just, it’s oddly intimate, I guess is the best way to describe it.

And so then you’re super in your head like, boy, this is weird.

And it is.

And then that part’s done.

But he did a nice job.

Then it got really weird when it was time to pay because I had a momentary pause in brain function.

The haircut was $24.

I intended to pay $30 and give a tip of the $6.

Is that a good tip?

I don’t know.

It’s a little bit better than 20%.

So it seemed right.

It’s 25% technically if I’m doing my math right.

And so I handed him, they had a note up there when I got there that they charged 5% extra for credit cards.

It was very high to me.

So I’m like, all right, I’m going to do cash.

And I took out a 50.

And then I said, keep the change.

And then I walked out the store and I’m like, boy, that was more than I intended to tip.

But it was too late.

I wasn’t going to go back and say, actually, I don’t want you to keep the change.

I mean, I could have.

I absolutely understood in that moment, I could go back in and say, hey, that was more than I intended to tip.

Could I have some back?

But I’m like, yeah, whatever.

Right?

It made that guy’s day, I hope.

And I didn’t want to be a jerk and I don’t know.

The whole thing was just hilarious to me because I was like, wow, that was a very generous tip for a haircut that didn’t need such a generous tip.

But if you’re going to err on gratuity, I suppose it’s always better to err on the side of more gratuity than less.

So whatever.

I did an overly generous tip for a person whose name I don’t know who cut my hair.

Thank you to that person.

He’s maybe a listener.

I don’t know.

He probably is trying to find the other guy.

So that happened separately.

I’m auditioning for two different shows.

I think I’ve made reference to this a little bit already, but I’m auditioning for two different shows in which I could only possibly do one.

I was in a funny situation where, you know, I tend to think of my family as being supportive and whatever.

But my darling bride, Lauren, was like, oh, you’re auditioning for the Addams Family for Gomez?

I think you’re too tall to be Gomez.

And I was like, traditionally, in the Addams Family movies and in the TV show, Gomez was portrayed as shorter than Morticia, or more accurately, Morticia was portrayed as taller than Gomez.

That’s not been true on Broadway and I don’t think it’s required.

And I talked to the people involved in the show, like, no, we don’t have any specific height requirements.

And what else are you going to say?

Yes, you are too tall.

You’re too tall to be Gomez.

They weren’t going to say that.

But they didn’t say that.

But of course, now I’m in my head and I’m like, I’m going to slouch when I’m auditioning just so I don’t look too tall.

But I’m auditioning for Gomez because that’s the most fun part of the show.

There’s some other fun parts in the show, too.

Fester and the normal dad, whose name I can’t think of, they have some fun parts.

But Lurch, to me, is not a fun part.

Lurch has to be very tall.

So I know they’ll see me as Lurch.

But he mostly just kind of moans and groans in the show.

And that’s not fun to me.

I’m sure it’s a funny part.

I’m sure it scores laughs.

I just I don’t want that part.

So I’m auditioning for Gomez.

But even before that, a couple of days before that, I’m auditioning for a different production of Elf the musical.

And I listed on that audition form that I was willing to get three parts.

Buddy, that’s, you know, the Will Ferrell part in the movie.

Buddy’s dad, that’s the James Codd part.

Or Santa Claus.

I don’t think I’m old enough to play Santa Claus.

I’m a little bit too old to play Buddy.

So that’s the other thing where I got feedback from both Lauren and Zier.

Oh, you’re too old to be Buddy.

And I’m like, listen, wife and kid, I was cast as a 32-year-old in Avenue Q.

So clearly if Buddy’s supposed to be in his 30s, I am young enough for this theater, which has already cast me as a 32-year-old.

I think I can maybe be a pretty funny and happy and cheery Buddy the Elf.

So yeah, I’m auditioning for two shows that my family doesn’t believe in before.

So at least for the roles that I want.

I’m too tall or too old.

Maybe both.

But I’m going to go for it, because what have you got to lose?

Improv will always be my first love.

And I’m a big fan of improv, but I am enjoying that fun of, you know, doing big shows with big budgets with big audiences.

That’s its own special joy.

So anyway, that’s my update for today, Wednesday, August 30th.

Happy rest of your day, everybody.

Lex!