It’s not quite breakfast.

It’s not quite lunch.

You’ll love it.

That’s how a character on the Simpsons voiced by Albert Brooks once described brunch to Marge Simpson.

I rarely do a second take on this podcast, but this is a second take of the cold open.

If you listen after the final Lex, uh, you’ll get to hear me really, I think have some kind of mental breakdown slash stroke while attempting that cold open just a second ago.

But anyway, um, here we are and yeah, brunch.

I want to talk about brunch for a moment.

So let’s do that.

Your daily Lex.

I, uh, went out with a couple other friends plus Lauren to a, uh, not the Lord’s not a friend.

You know what I mean?

Anyway, we went out to a brunch on Sunday and before the brunch, I was thinking, boy, I can’t eat anything.

Cause I want to make sure I’m hungry for brunch, which was not a problem.

And then I was also thinking, man, there’s a time in your life where you’re, you’re just not the person who orders the pancakes anymore.

You’re, you know, you get the eggs, you get the omelet, you get the, even the smoked salmon or something, but there’s a time in your life when you just like, you know, I’m not going to have the pancakes and then feel bad about myself all day.

We get to brunch.

It’s a, it’s a cool brunch place.

I’ve been there once before.

And they have a, uh, a $25 fixed price menu where you get their pastry appetizers and you get your main thing.

And then you get their desserts.

Their desserts are nothing.

They’re like tiny little bites of crap.

But anyway, I was looking at the menu and debating these different choices.

And this French toast kept tempting me.

And I kept thinking back to my morning thought process of, well, you know, there’s a time in your life where you get the pancakes and to me, French toast and pancakes are not the same thing, but you know, they fall in the same category.

And I was like, do I want to eat that French toast and then feel bad all day?

Not feel bad about myself.

Like, God, what a child I am for getting French toast, but feel bad.

Like, well, I feel too full over stuff, sick, whatever.

But the description was really alluring.

I was talking about, uh, how it was cinnamon and buttery, whatever else.

And when it was finally time to order, I ordered it.

And then it was time to order a beverage.

I got a coffee.

And then my friend, uh, Michelle said, uh, can I get a mimosa?

And that unlocked the entire table.

And then we had four mimosas plus two coffees.

Uh, only one of which was for me, uh, the coffee, by the way, it was $3 and did not include a refill, which is insane.

But anyway, um, I appreciate it so much that they opened up the mimosa door that, that my friend, Michelle opened up the mimosa door.

That was a big deal and exciting because clearly everybody wanted a mimosa, but nobody was ready to order the mimosa and then Michelle did.

And then everybody did.

It was great.

Uh, and the actual presentation of the mimosas was quite comical.

Uh, the waitstaff brought out the four different flutes with a tiny bit of orange juice in them, and then four different, uh, mini Prosecco bottles, and then opened each one and poured each one into its own thing.

And then left you the rest of the Prosecco.

And at some point, as you are drinking your OJ, uh, you have to kind of refill the champagne.

And I was, I, I brought this up at the table.

Cause I’m like, you know, I don’t want to just have a glass of, you know, champagne.

Um, because that’s, you know, that’s not what I’m there for.

I’m there for a mimosa.

So you have to drink some of it down.

And then while there’s still some OJ left, you can have a weaker looking weaker.

It’s probably stronger in terms of ratio, but you know, you can have a less orange mimosa, but you still got to have the, you know, it can’t just be champagne.

You get my point.

I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time talking today, but I really am.

I have a two hour call with a client later.

Uh, anyway, uh, the mimosas was lovely.

We’re lovely.

The mimosas were, Oh my goodness.

The mimosas were lovely.

And I did get the French toast and I didn’t feel bad about myself in either way.

And then there was a conversation at the table about food and eating and, um, food habits and aversions.

And my buddy, Dan, who was there was like, no, I eat everything.

I, there’s no food I don’t like, which just blew my mind.

I cannot imagine being in that world of like looking at a menu and thinking, Oh, I could eat anything here.

I’ve never had that thought.

And then, uh, you know, we were talking about fruit and, you know, in my opinion, how disgusting it is, even the fruits that I like, I don’t want mixed with other things.

Like if I’m going to eat strawberry, I just want to eat the strawberry.

I don’t want strawberry that’s mixed with pineapple or melon because pineapple and melon are disgusting and they taint everything.

And then we were talking about how Sierra is allergic to melon and can’t eat it because it makes her mouth feel, um, like it’s on fire basically, even though she really likes it.

And we learned this because at some point, she said to Lauren the years ago, it stinks how, you know, melon is so good, but when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel so insane and tingly.

And Lauren’s like, what are you talking about?

She’s like, that’s not how everybody experiences melon.

No, Sierra, that’s just you.

Um, she’s actually allowed to eat it, but it’s clearly unpleasant for her to do so.

So anyway, mimosas are good.

People who are willing to order the mimosas are great, uh, and start that mimosa trend.

And it’s okay to have the French toast once in a while, uh, but I’ll probably have an omelet soon.

Uh, I hope you’re having a wonderful day.

Don’t forget.

You can listen to me not be able to talk for a second in just a moment.

Happy Monday.

Oh, and play my new mini crosswords at my game site.

Lex slash games slash mini or just like slash mini.

It all works.

I’ve thought of everything Lex.

It’s not quite breakfast.

It’s not quite lunch.

You’ll love it.

That’s how a character voiced by Albert Brooks on the Simpsons once describes March.

What I think.