I’m going to tell you a treadmill story.

I told the story on the rebound recently, but I’m going to give you even more color.

And if you didn’t hear it on the rebound, well, now you still get to hear the story.

If you did get to hear it on the rebound, you can see if the facts of the story remain consistent, but this is the treadmill story as I recall it.

So here we go.

Your Daily Lex.

So most of the time I used to, my God, I really got so Larry Davis just now.

I haven’t finished curbing enthusiasm yet.

I have about three episodes left.

I did a Larry David thinking noise, which is even worse than my normal thinking noise.

But anyway, most of the time I work out on the Peloton bike.

I do 30 minutes or 45 minutes on the bike.

And then I do a five minute strength class.

And then I do a five minute stretch and then I’m done for the day.

Then I don’t move again after that point.

But, um, you know, once or twice a week I use the treadmill.

Uh, sometimes it’s a run, sometimes it’s a jog, sometimes it’s a power walk.

Uh, and a couple of days ago it was time for one of those treadmill things.

I didn’t even know which one was going to be yet, but I got on and the treadmill starts flashing errors.

And, uh, I had this problem once before where it starts flashing errors.

Um, and it’s really showing a collision of errors by which I mean more than one.

Um, and they’re overlapping each other and they’re laid out ever so slightly differently across some of them, which is, uh, funny and not good.

But so it was saying, you know, uh, to detach and reattach the safety key.

It was saying, um, that something went wrong.

Please restart your tread to continue.

Uh, your tread has stopped.

Please reattach your safety key.

Um, thing is the safety key was attached and, you know, so I’m cleaning it, I’m reattaching it.

Uh, I’m turning it off and on.

I do a full reboot on it, you know, unplug it and you got to wait for a little bit because it’s got such a, I don’t know, such a store of power in it that it takes like a solid 20 or 30 seconds for it to fully power off.

When you unplug it, you can hear when it suddenly is done.

Uh, put it back on.

Nothing works.

And I know I have to call Peloton and I don’t want to call Peloton because I love Peloton and I hate calling Peloton, especially when it’s a tread related issue.

Because whenever I call Peloton about tread related issue, uh, they’re like, but you don’t have a tread.

Yes, I do.

I’m, I do.

Uh, you can see, I take a lot of tread classes and that tread is right here in my house.

And the reason they sometimes struggle to identify the fact that I have a treadmill from them is, uh, I, when I bought the treadmill on the phone, they were like, Hey, we recommend actually might’ve been over, uh, their support chat, but either way they were like, Hey, you can get the referral credit for referring yourself since you already have the bike.

If you buy the treadmill under another email address, I’m like, great.

I have infinite email addresses use this one.

And so I did that.

Once you have the treadmill, you log in under your main account.

Cause that’s where you want it to be.

But they had me purchase it under a second account, um, that they made up for this purpose so I could get a referral credit.

It made sense.

It wasn’t my idea.

It was their idea.

But now every time I call in for a treadmill issue, I have to spend a lot of time figuring out what email address it’s linked to and getting them to find it and realizing that it’s on a different account, even though it’s bought on the one.

And I feel like a criminal each time, even though it was their idea.

It wasn’t my idea.

It was their idea that I buy it this way.

I finally get them to see that I have the tread and they want to start working on the debugging.

Uh, they have me try all the same things I’ve tried before and I will always do it.

So here’s the steps I went through.

I’ll try anything you want, including those steps again.


Let’s do those steps again.

Let’s restart it this way.

Let’s do a hard reboot.

And then she’s like, let’s do a factory reset.

I’m like, okay, now we’re, now we’re trying something different.

It was very clear to me that the factory reset would have absolutely no effect.

It didn’t other than being annoying that, um, I had to, uh, let it go through it’s like installer config thing, which was kind of fun, like watching it go all the way up and all the way down and following steps that are really just for the installer and not for you.

Uh, but even as it’s going through that config, I can see it’s still starting to flash the same error messages, which I tell them.

And she’s like, well, I’m going to have to escalate this.

And somebody from the escalation team is going to call you within 24 to 48 hours.

And I was like, okay, so if I don’t hear from somebody in 48 hours, I should call back.

She’s like, yes, but you definitely will.

Plus we’ve, we’d exchanged emails.

Cause she kept wanting me to send her photos of the error messages.

Cause she didn’t believe that I was reading them verbatim or something, which I was.

But she’s like, I have your email.

So I will email you once a day with updates.

And I was like, okay.

And that was the last I ever heard from her.

And nobody from Palatine ever called.

However, as soon as I hung up, I was like, man, it really, you can hear on occasion, not every time you can hear sometimes it wanted to go.

Like you would tell it, Hey, I want to start walking or I want to start this treadmill moving.

And if you’re wanting to go, but it wouldn’t go.

And then other times we’d just be totally silent.

I was like, what if, what if it just, it wants to go and something stuck and I can help.

So I was like, what if I take a really strong step?

So I’m like, you know, I I’m using my own Foley work here with my voice to try to help you understand what I did, but I think you got it.

I was like, try that Larry David.

Anyway, I take this big, strong step on it.

Uh, and I hear a little ping.

I hear something go flying loose that I could not find or see.

Uh, and the treadmill started going and it’s been working fine ever since.

So, um, I’m still waiting for them to call me, which they won’t, but, um, I fixed it by brute strength.

Try that Larry David.

He could never, he could never fix something by brute strength.

He’s too rich.

He would have to pay somebody to do it.

Uh, so I, I fixed my treadmill way to go.

Uh, my hair on the other side is on the other.

I said hand inside at the same time.

So on the other hide my hair on the other, hide neither hide nor hair.

Uh, my hair on the other hand is still too short.

Now, you know, that’s all I wanted to say, but it’s not as short as Larry David’s funny Lex.