It’s time for another episode of your Daily Lex, the always daily podcast that never misses a day, and that relies exclusively on the human power of my actual voice.

Except no substitutes.

This actually reminds me.

I had a very odd substitute teacher, intermittently throughout junior and senior high school.

I can picture him.

He was full of hatred for life.

He also worked as a salesman at a clothing store in the mall, which I think was called the Bon Ton.

But I cannot remember this guy’s name.

I’ve asked other friends from high school.

They remember him, but not his name.

That’s sad.

Bro, you needed a theme song.

Your Daily Lex Yeah, I played with another one of those voice cloning services.

That’s one called Jenny with a G.

And I didn’t think it sounded like me at all, actually.

It’s kind of, I guess, a little bit uncanny valley for audio, where it’s impressive, but it also does not sound human in ways that matter to me.

But the story was true.

I cannot think of the substitute’s name.

I can picture him.

And I also even had an impression of him.

He had this very kind of baritone or bassy voice.

He really just didn’t like anything.

Certainly children.

And he hated being a substitute teacher.

And he didn’t like any of the students.

But I can’t remember his name.

And I wanted to and cannot.

So that’s sad.

Thanks for nothing, brain.

Let’s see.

I thought of no topics other than that substitute story, which was just something I was typing into Jenny to see what it sounded like when I used it.

Let’s see.

I owe you updates on a fun improv story, but that’s still a couple weeks away before I’m going to share anything on that.

I’ll just keep teasing it over and over again for no reason.

And then I’ll tell you, I do think I’m getting really close on the app.

I think I’m going to I think I know what the version is going to look like.

It’s going to ship in.

Well, hopefully ship in May.

Some of that might depend on the app store.

I imagine it could take a little bit longer when it’s your first submission.

Who knows?

And of course, I’m recording this before a big Apple event today.

10 a.m.

Eastern Apple event.

Sorry, West Coast.

And it’s fun because, you know, when they do them this early, that typically means they’re coming from the East Coast.

And I mean, some Apple tech people come to the East Coast, but typically they just come and then go again.

So I don’t get to see them, but I want to see those people.

And maybe next time, maybe next time they come to this coast, I’ll say, hi, we’ll see.

It’s really up to them more than it is to me.

I find my response to Apple events intriguing these days.

You know, during the pandemic, Apple switched to doing these videos instead of live events.

I certainly miss the live aspect of it.

I think that was more fun.

The videos just feel like you’re watching slick commercials, which is also what you’re doing when you watch a live thing.

But I miss the life.

I miss the life.

It’s fun to get to hear kind of real time audience feedback and to see them, you know, not unscripted because they’re clearly not.

But to see those very occasional glimpses of personality that really the videos, I think, mask since, you know, you’re watching take 27.

But yeah, I mean, they’re going to unveil new iPads and a pencil, probably with an eraser.

And I definitely don’t need a pencil.

And I don’t I love iPads, but I don’t need a new iPad right now.

One of my kids probably does.

But sorry, Liam, that’s your problem.

How many times will Apple mention AI today?

I don’t know.

I don’t know why I’m asking you.

By the time you hear this, the Apple event might have already happened.

It’s you’d have to listen to this episode the next hour and 20 minutes not to know the answer.

And that’s before I post it.

You know what?

It’s me again.

I paused.

I thought about deleting this past ramble of nonsense.

But no, ramble of nonsense is what you tune in for, I think.

So, yeah, there you go.

Anyway, if anybody knows my substitute teacher’s name, let me know.

He worked at the Banton and he was a substitute.

The way the AI voice had Banton was really weird.

I’m pretty sure the store is called the Banton.

Oh, man, I miss that mall.

I grew up with a Berkshire mall.

You know who else used to shop at the Berkshire mall?

Taylor Swift.

I’m sure.

I mean, I don’t I never recall seeing her there, but I’m just saying we grew up.

Anyway, you get it.

You understand.

She’s from why I’m missing.

I’m from why I’m missing.

That was the mall.

So if you wanted to go to the mall, you went there.

Anyway, I hope you’re having a wonderful Tuesday.

And I’m going to have more of a topic tomorrow because I have a whole list.

I just didn’t look at it.

You’re the best.

No, we’re the best together.