Hospital stories?

How about some hospital stories?

All right, we’re doing it.

So, you know, now that Liam’s on the mend with his two different stomach bugs, one viral, one not, now we can laugh about some of the fun experiences in the hospital emergency department and the children’s hospital overall.

Your daily Lex.

So for one, Liam was nervous about going there.

He was nervous about going there not for the obvious reasons of being nervous about going to the hospital.

He was nervous about the car ride because, you know, he had these two stomach bugs and his stomach was in constant need of bathroom visitations.

And I’m like, bro, we got to just go because the longer we wait here, you know, until we get there, nobody can help you.

And we got to get there.

And the worst case is you have a problem with the car and we will set you up in a car with as much protection as possible.

And worst case, it’s a car and they’ve seen worse at the hospital.

And we’ll take wipes with us and we’ll take other clothes.

He made it.

I was gonna say he was fine.

That’s not true.

He made it without incident, got to the hospital.

They very quickly put us in a room that was right next to the bathroom, although Liam refused to use the bathroom in the ED, which I found funny.

And they called it an emergency department as opposed to emergency room.

I don’t know why.

But anyway, so, you know, he’s in the bed.

He’s pretty unhappy, but they’re giving him an IV and trying to get his fluids up.

And I noticed that the floor appears to be blood spattered.

Like there’s this mat under the bed and it seems like it’s blood spattered.

I sent a photo to Lorne, isn’t this weird?

And the nurse comes in and I say to her, like, what is the deal?

And she’s like, oh, isn’t it the worst color?

We’ve always told him it shouldn’t be red.

But we were actually in the, I can’t think of the word now, a room for special needs kids, like a tactile room.

That’s not the right word.

You know what I’m talking about.

But, you know, it had various things that you could touch and interact with.

And that mat, like when you stepped on it, the blood spatter would squish around and form new patterns.

But she said, yeah, it should not be red.

Almost every single person who comes in asks about it.

Everybody thinks it’s blood.

It’s crazy.

Sensory room.

This is a sensory room.

I got there.

And you were shouting it at the podcast app of your choice.

I know.

So there was that.

Then the nurse, before she knows anything about him, she’s like, you have the calming demeanor of a psychiatric professor and the voice of a professional podcaster.

And I was like, well, thank you.

I am both of those things.

I’ve told this story so many times.

So I apologize if I told it on the podcast yesterday.

I don’t think I did, but maybe I did.

We talked about the show The Pit.

And she was like, yeah, I don’t watch it because the last thing I want to do when I come home from work is watch another ER, which I get.

You know, Liam had no interest in getting his IV done.

And I said, what I always say when the woman was going to put the IV in, I said, hey, I’ve heard that this nurse is the best one of putting IVs in in the whole hospital.

And she’s like, it’s true.

I am.

And of course, he complained about it, but it was fine.

Also, Liam always has a million questions.

He’s like, how much blood are you taking?

Because they were also doing some blood tests.

And she’s like, I’m just filling these two tiny vials.

He’s like, but it’s my blood.

I want it.

And when we moved to the children’s hospital, he was actually on a floor that was for kids 3 to 11.

But they sometimes put kids there, too, obviously.

And at 4 in the morning, nope, at 2 in the morning, when he had ripped out his IV in his sleep.

He hadn’t done it maliciously.

He was just rolling around in his sleep and he came out.

And then he noticed he was getting soaked from IV fluids.

They had to put a new one in.

And they knew they had orders to take blood at 7 in the morning.

So they’re like, why don’t we do that now while we’re putting in this new IV?

And Liam hates the idea of an IV.

He hates getting his blood drawn.

He hates IVs.

He gets his shot from me every two weeks and he can handle that.

But he did not like this.

And never does.

And it took, because he also had to stop and pause to use the bathroom and then come back.

It took two hours from start to finish to get these IVs in.

And he was doing everything he could to relax.

The next day, they needed to do a blood draw again.

And this nurse had a very different demeanor.

Where the first one was super warm and was helping him do relaxation.

And occasionally she was like, now I need you to focus.

You’re going to breathe in for four, hold for four, and exhale for four.

We’re going to do it.

This other nurse came in and was totally impassive.

Totally kind of straight faced.

And Liam was like, no, no, give me a second to relax.

Give me a second to relax before we draw the blood.

And she just does it, ignores me, draws the blood.

He’s like, okay.

And I appreciated both styles.

It helped that it wasn’t four in the morning when this second impassive nurse was taking his blood.

But it was funny how the first time it was with lots of drama and theatrics.

And I don’t mean that in a dismissive way because he was in pretty severe distress.

And the second time the lady was like, I’m just doing this.

Like, goodbye.

And both approaches had merit.

It was also funny to me when a person who I can’t remember what her official title was.

But she essentially said, I’m the chief fun officer here at the children’s hospital.

Do you want any video games?

Do you want this console or any board games or cards?

And Liam was like, I got my iPad, I’m good.

Well, actually, the really funny thing is whenever a nurse or doctor would come in and ask Liam a question, he would first turn to me or to Lauren, depending on who was there.

And we’re like, this is a question to you.

You can answer.

You don’t have to look at me for the answer, just answer.

And then he would turn back and give an answer.

But he always looked at us first like, what am I supposed to say?

And when they’re asking if he wants a video game, I’m like, do you want the video game, God’s whole?

Like, that’s it.

Just tell him.

I think he is more confident when he does not feel like garbage.

Yesterday, when I finished my workday, I was like, Liam, why don’t we go play rock band?

Because he got a new guitar here recently.

Guitar Hero Van Halen edition, I think.

And he had barely gotten to play it because that’s right when he got it was also when he started getting sick.

And he’s like, yeah, let’s do that.

And it really helped him perk up.

So I’m basically saying I cured my son.

But no, the combination of getting him out of his room and having him stop, like just lie there kind of doing nothing on his iPad or in his bed or with a book and the antibiotics and the fluids and the eating.

I think that like reminding him that he could be alive and vibrant has been a help.

So he is on the mend.

Thank goodness.

But still out of the woods.

Anyway, that’s all I got.

I hope your tax day went great.

And goodbye.

Lex.