I don’t need to be the first person to have a Nintendo Switch 2.

Usually I buy video game consoles when they’re older.

I don’t need to be first in line.

I will wait.

The games get cheaper, the consoles get cheaper, then I buy them.

With the Nintendo Wii, I couldn’t wait.

I needed that Wii.

And so I got the Wii.

It still took forever.

I remember how long I waited and I was so happy when I got it.

I posted a photo of myself on probably Twitter back in the day.

And I was just so, such a big smile, so happy to have it.

Loved it.

But with the Nintendo Switch, I waited a bit.

And I do not feel that way about the Nintendo Switch 2.

I want it.

I want it now.

And I’m very excited because they say that they’re bringing Madden back to the Switch 2.

So when I found out that pre-orders would begin last night or early this morning at midnight Eastern time, I set a stupid alarm on my stupid watch.

I usually don’t do alarms on my watch.

I charge my watch at night and use audio alarms.

But I decided I wasn’t going to wake up with an alarm making noise at midnight when I’m sleeping in bed next to Lauren because that seemed like a jerky thing to do.

And I got up at 11.58 and got set with my already logged in Target account ready to go to add that thing.

And then Target’s website crashed over and over again.

You couldn’t check out.

You could put in your car, but you couldn’t check out.

It couldn’t handle credit card processing.

It was overwhelmed.

And eventually after 30 minutes, I decided, okay, I’m giving up and going back to sleep.

Which I did.

But then I was having trouble falling back to sleep, which often happens to me if I wake up.

And so I’m just trying to relax.

And I’m like, all right, it’s 12.50.

I’m still awake.

I just better check and see if now I can pre-order it.

No.

And I was posting my complaints on various places.

And one person wrote back to me saying, hey, this site worked for me now.

And so I tried that site, but it didn’t work.

And I’m just like, screw all this.

I’m going back to sleep.

But according to my watch, I was awake from really about 12 to 1.30 or so, which is not great.

And I got up at 6.15 to help my kids get on the bus, whatever.

This morning, I tried various places.

Nothing.

And GameSpot said they were going to start their pre-orders at 11 a.m.

And instead what they meant is we’re going to start having our website crash over and over again at 11 a.m.

It’s fine.

I’m not going to get one right now.

I’m not going to be one of the first ones to have it.

I don’t care about being first.

I just want it.

You know, it’s not about like beating others.

It’s like, I want to have it when I can have it.

And it’s fine.

I just don’t know when I will be able to get it because if it’s anything like the Wii was all those years ago, it’ll take frigging forever to become available easily.

And then you got to worry about tariffs and other bullshit.

So I’m just annoyed.

I’m annoyed because I thought I’d be able to pre-order it.

I thought waking up at midnight would be enough.

And obviously there are better ways.

Like if you’re going to have demand be so much greater than supply, do something else.

Do a lottery.

Don’t just make it the who can pre-order the fastest contest because that disadvantages everybody.

Anyway, I also want to talk about apples and I mean the fruit.

I’m eating way more fruit on my weight loss journey because I complained at one point to the trainer like, man, I’m hungry sometimes.

He’s like, well, you’re eating enough calories, but you’re not doing enough fiber.

And fiber will help you feel more full.

And I’m like, what can I eat for fiber?

And he’s like, this, this, this.

I’ll go apples.

I’ll do apples.

So I’ve been eating a pink lady apple, sometimes two every day.

And first of all, it bothers me when I think about the apple logo because it feels like so much of that apple is being wasted in the apple logo.

But I guess it’s early in the apple consumption process in that apple logo.

Like it’s just one bite.

It’s not down to the core.

But it’s really satisfying to get down to the apple core.

But like, I feel like the traditional artwork of an apple core has so much left at the top and the bottom.

But when I’m finished with an apple, it’s like a tiny little cylinder.

It’s not bulbous at the top and bottom because you get all around there.

But man, isn’t it?

What a bummer.

Apples are made the wrong way.

They should be inside out or something because the closer you get to where the seeds are, the worst, like the mealier or something the apple gets, the less fun it is to eat the grosser it is.

And I’m not going to waste apple.

I’m going to eat that.

If I don’t expose at least one seed, I haven’t eaten that apple, right?

But that’s the worst part.

The outside is the best, man.

But pink lady apple is just freaking phenomenal.

Can’t get enough.

I did have a golden delicious apple recently in a pinch.

Not in a pinch.

I was pitched a golden delicious apple and hit it out of the park.

But it was better than I expected it to be.

But some apples are so bad.

Like I need the right sweet tart combo in my apple.

Pink ladies, boy, they freaking nail it.

You heard it here first.

I’ve got aggressive pink lady apple theories.

Anyway, I have a giant presentation starting in three minutes, but I’m pretty sure I missed an episode yesterday.

I might not have, but I might not.

I don’t know.

Maybe I didn’t.

But either way, I wanted to make sure I had an episode today.

So I’m doing it right now in this window.

But now I’m going to get ready for my presentation.

And how many seconds will it take of my presentation before I disclaim this giant beard on my face that is the bane of my existence and the thing I think about the most in my life right now?

You know why it’s the thing I think about most of my life right now?

Because I couldn’t order the Nintendo Switch 2.

Goodbye.

Lex.