I am sick, and I’m grumpy because I’m sick, but everything’s gonna be fine.

Nobody worry, nobody panic.

I hope my voice isn’t too disgusting to listen to.

Sometimes you hear people who are sick, like on a TV show or in a podcast, and it’s gross to listen to.

I hope I don’t sound gross to you.

Your Daily Lex.

It’s not my favorite Your Daily Lex edition when it’s Lex complains about things, but I know that is a frequent thing, not because I’m a complainer, but I mean, you might think of me as a complainer.

I don’t think of me as a complainer, but because that’s a fun thing to talk about.

Like, it’s easy to get riled up about it, and riling up helps fill the five minutes.

This episode will be shorter because I am racing to be ready for my next meeting, but I started getting sick yesterday morning.

I woke up feeling not right, and this morning it was much worse.

I woke up at three o’clock in the morning because every time I swallowed, it was like sharp, searing pain in my throat, and I thought, oh, I’ll go back to sleep, but that did not happen.

I eventually got on the treadmill at five o’clock in the morning because I was like, well, if I’m awake, let’s make this time productive by walking to exactly nowhere.

I had already used the patient portal at around 345 for my primary care physician to say, hey, could I request an appointment?

Because you can’t book an appointment through them, but you can request an appointment, and at around eight in the morning, they wrote back saying, please call the office to make an appointment, and I was like, oh, I already did because I did.

I called them at eight, and it went to their voicemail, and I called at 805, went to their voicemail.

So I already did, but I look forward to hearing from you soon, and the person replied again in the patient portal saying, oh, please call the office to make an appointment.

It was the exact identical message that had already been sent to me.

Some people on the internet suggested that maybe that was an AI, a bot saying it, and that was very annoying, and I called the office over and over again because it kept going to voicemail.

I only left one voicemail message, but I kept calling because I know in the morning at a doctor’s office when it opens, they get a bunch of calls, and I wanted to get in there with the appointment since they weren’t calling me back.

The biggest thing I was worried about was do I have strep, which is a valid concern because I’ve been around people who had strep recently, and I don’t want to have strep for a variety of reasons, including an upcoming rock show on Sunday and Fiddler next weekend, and I don’t want to get other people sick, and so basically it was if I need antibiotics, I want to start them ASAP because I’m contagious, you know, until I’m on antibiotics for 24 hours or whatever it is, and finally I cave in and make an appointment at Urgent Care, but Urgent Care can give me an appointment until late in the day, and that’s annoying, and then I get a call from the doctor’s office, and they say, hey, we got your voicemail.

We can help you, and I’m like, great, that’s wonderful, and I cancel the Urgent Care who were like, by the way, you don’t have to make an appointment, and I was like, you have an appointment making thing on your website because I called the Urgent Care to cancel, and I was like, I’m canceling this because I found an earlier available appointment somewhere else, and they were like, oh, well, you don’t even have to make an appointment.

You can just come in.

I’m like, well, now I’ve made an appointment with a PCP who charges less.

That’s a $30 copay where you’re like $75 for being Urgent Care or something, so whatever.

I go to the doctor.

The doctor’s office on the phone and in person was very grumpy with me because they’re like, wait, you haven’t been here since 2021?

I’m like, yes.

Do you have another primary care?

I’m like, no, I just haven’t needed to see a primary care.

You haven’t gotten a physical?

I’m like, I’m doing great.

Up until this cold, I’ve been doing great, and I was not defensive, and I was like, I don’t care that I haven’t been here, and eventually they were like, well, we have to treat you as a new patient since you haven’t been here since 2021.

I’m like, treat me however you want.

Just treat me.

I want to see the doctor, and so the doctor looks, and it was fine.

As it turns out, I do not have strep, which was my number one concern, and I’m going to live, so that’s good.

Now, this, my friends, is one of those moments that happen so often on the show where zero seconds have passed for you, but it’s an hour since I recorded those words because I just recorded an episode of Sorkin’ in it with Brian Warren, and that was in between the last sentence and this one, but I am going to live.

I’m going to go to a Fiddler rehearsal tonight.

Oh, the other thought I had about this doctor’s appointment that I was telling you about.

They were very mad that I hadn’t been there in a long time.

I had my last checkup, I guess, was in 2021, and they’re like, oh, we have to treat you as a new patient, so they’re annoyed, but I didn’t care, and then I was like, hey, can you tell me what my weight was last time?

Because they had weighed me, but they hadn’t said anything about it.

They’re like, oh, yeah, your last time you were weighed was, whoa, and it’s pretty funny because then they saw that I lost a bunch of weight, and I was very proud.

I’ll talk to anybody about weight loss anytime.

Anyway, that’s my episode.

Happy Thursday.

Goodbye.

Lex.