It’s the extremely, and I mean extremely rare, Saturday episode of Your Daily Lex.

Why?

Because I make my own rules, damn it, and I can do this.

I can do what I want.

And I haven’t done one since, I don’t know, last Monday, so let’s do an episode.

Your Daily Lex.

It is the opinion of this podcast that you should all be Team Jimmy Kimmel.

Whether you like Jimmy Kimmel or not, I never watch Jimmy Kimmel.

I watch clips online.

I don’t like his Halloween shtick.

I think it’s mean to kids.

But I like Jimmy Kimmel.

The person is just fine.

He’s a good guy.

He’s a good host.

He’s a good late night host and a good award show host.

And obviously, it is entirely fascistic to silence one’s critics.

And the fact that Trump, ever the idiot, continues to say that it is illegal for late night hosts to make fun of him really speaks to his stupidity.

And this isn’t the one big issue that we all have to rally behind.

It is a big issue that we all have to rally behind.

Curtailing free speech is bad.

This nonsense today about Pentagon and reporters, terrible.

Release the Epstein files.

Here’s the thing.

You had elected, not you, only a small handful of you listening to the show, elected a pedophile, rapist, convicted felon.

And he behaves like same.

So we got to deal with it.

Anyway, separate from all that.

Surgery went well on Tuesday.

The doctor was pleased.

It really did seem like it cured my arm.

I will say today, for the first time, I’m having a little bit of arm pain and I’m very unhappy about it, but we’re not going to go deep on it.

It’s not terrible.

And I have read from various patients that they say after three days, and this is four for me, that they got some pain back and then it went away again.

So I’m just taking it day by day and I’m not panicking yet.

But for three days, I was pain free, which was awesome.

Pain free in the arm.

The neck is a different story.

I don’t love talking, hence one of the reasons I haven’t been doing this podcast.

I did a full day of work yesterday, full day is overstretching it or stretching it or overstating it.

It’s one of those things.

But I had probably five calls yesterday.

And by the end, I was really struggling.

Honestly, just my larynx vibrating against not just the wound site, but the tape and stitches is unpleasant.

Swallowing still sucks.

I’m still mostly on soft food, although I’ve dabbled with some chewable food as well.

That’s okay.

Although I was prescribed a bevy of drugs, I’m on none of them at the moment.

Which I don’t know, I’m proud of.

And for those of you wondering, it took until today.

Remember the surgery was Tuesday.

It took until today till I pooped.

So now you know.

And I think many of you were wondering.

It’s the number one question I got.

Have you pooped post-surgery?

That’s not true.

Literally no one has asked.

Although I bet the doctor will ask.

They did text about it on one of their automated texts.

Some fun things.

Well, first, one unfun thing.

They didn’t give me the Versed to calm me down until just before they wheeled me back.

I was hoping to have some time to sit with it.

And I remember nothing.

I always like to pretend I’m going to fight with the anesthesiologist and stay awake.

And I wasn’t awake enough to do that.

I remember being wheeled back and that’s it.

The recovery room stuff was fine.

And yes, I mean, it’s the thing that was bad, though, was the doctor gave me written material ahead of time and said, you know, don’t take any NSAIDs.

That seems like ibuprofen and leave, etc.

before the surgery for a week because it thins your blood and don’t take it afterwards because it can slow down fusion.

Then at the hospital, they’re giving me the medicines to go home with.

And here’s your oxy and here’s your muscle relaxant.

A very small dose of muscle relaxant.

I think they cheaped out on it, actually.

And then here’s your NSAID.

And I said to the nurse and to Lauren, I’m not supposed to take the NSAID for two reasons.

And they’re like, what are the two reasons?

Like, well, one, I’m considering this kidney donation.

And two, they said not to take NSAIDs.

And they’re both.

Correctly.

They’re like, you have to look at your own health first, not the kidney donation.

If the hospital is prescribing it, then you’re supposed to take it.

So I took one.

Then the next day I contacted the doctor’s office.

And after some really dumb miscommunication on their part, my message was quite clear, I promise, where they’re like, no, you shouldn’t take it before the surgery.

I’m like, I already had the surgery.

I’m trying to find out if I should be taking it now since you sent me home with it.

They called in a panic like, no, we don’t know why you prescribed that.

Don’t take it.

So I only took one and hopefully it didn’t ruin everything.

But I’ll blame today’s arm pain on that.

But yeah, just been recovering ever since.

Today’s my best day.

Yesterday I got my first day of 10,000 steps since the surgery.

Today I either will or have already hit 10,000 steps.

I did the treadmill for the first time since the surgery today.

And the doctor’s orders are basically walk as much as you can and do as much as you can.

Do anything that feels comfortable.

So later I’m going to rob a bank.

I’m just kidding.

Banks are closed at this time of day on Saturday.

Anyway, I think that’s really all I got.

I just want to give you an update that I am alive.

And the kidney stuff, such as it is, continues apace.

So more on that as it develops.

I hate the bandage.

Lauren is an incredible nurse who has to take it off each day when I shower and then put a, not take off the band, like there’s stitches that will dissolve over time, Steri-Strips, but then you got to put gauze over it and then clear tape over that.

And she’s been a pro at that.

But yeah, I hate it.

I hate the tape.

I don’t hate the gauze, but I hate the tape and the stitches.

And I would like to just be all better already, which I am not, but hopefully soon.

Anyway, enjoy what’s left of your weekend, which frankly is more than a full day at this speaking, at this recording, at this time, at this moment.

You get it.

I’m fully coherent.

No medications right now.

Impressive.

Lex.