So as you may recall, I had auditioned for the musical Jagged Little Pill, the one based on Alanis’ music.

I got called back and I had to prepare songs.

And as I think I told you, I practiced those songs.

Then I went to the callback.

I was called at 3.30.

I got there early.

I left around 7.30.

So it was long.

Yeah.

And when I got there, of course, they were running behind because that’s how it always goes.

And where initially I was going to start with doing some scenes, then do the dance callback with everybody else, then do a song, then another song, and then another scene, it was all changing.

And so I was going to dance first along with everybody else.

And at the start of the dance, they said, a couple of you were called back for Steve.

That’s the dad.

That’s the part I’m called back for.

He obviously wouldn’t have to dance like this during the show, but it’s only fair that you have to dance like it now.

So good luck.

I’m not a dance expert, as you may know, and I think it was like kind of hip-hop-ish dancing.

And it was hard.

And on occasion, the choreographer would say things like, you doing okay there, potential Steve?

To me.

Only because sometimes you’re like, now you’re going to like grind your body, do a full body roll really sexually.

And I would like laugh out loud.

Mostly because I’m 45 freaking years old and have no control over my body physically.

And knew that it wasn’t going to be the sexiest possible look.

But I hung in there.

I learned the dance as best I could.

And at one point I asked her, hey, when I’m actually doing the audition portion of this dance, because you know, they spend an hour teaching it to you and then everybody kind of does it in a couple of small groups.

Like, am I doing this as the character I’m auditioning for or as like the sexy person you want this to be for this scene?

And she’s like, oh, I want you to do it the sexy way.

And I’m like, listen, I can bring on the sexiness, even if I can’t do all the dance steps.

And believe me, dear listener, I did.

It was very sexy and insane.

So that’s done.

But luckily for me, after, you know, 15 plus months of working out multiple times a week, I didn’t get crazy sweaty while doing it, which was nice.

In fact, I didn’t get sweaty at all.

And I was dressed for the callback because you kind of, you like to hint the character when you go to callbacks.

So I was dressed not just as like generic dad, but as the way Broadway costumed dad.

So I had a button down shirt with a sweater over it.

And my plan had been to take off the sweater for the dance portion, but it was the first time they were seeing me since they hadn’t had me do the scene yet.

I was like, no, I’m going to keep the sweater on.

I’m going to go full dad vibes, which I did.

That is not a look I really ever wear, sweater over button down, but I did for them.

Then I did some scenes and that was fun.

Then we did another scene.

That was fun.

And they said, by the way, we’re not going to have Mary Jane, the mom in the show, the big lead in the show.

We’re not going to have her do the second song we had had you prepare.

And for dads, for Steve’s, we’re only going to have you do one song, not two songs.

Basically, they were running out of time.

And what I eventually understood that I hadn’t realized at first is there was a show in the theater that we were auditioning in at seven or the show was at seven thirty.

The house opened at seven.

So they had to be done by seven.

And it’s getting later and later.

And eventually they’re like, OK, we’re going to have everybody else leave now.

We’re just going to keep the Steve’s and we need you each to sing.

We’re only going to do this one of the two songs.

And the musical director is like, why did I give you guys such a long cut of this song?

And I’m like, I think because it gets really high at the end.

He’s like, yes, that’s right.

It does get really high.

Did you all learn it?

Because I don’t have time to teach it to you.

Thank God I had done lessons because I would not have known the song at all.

I would have had a heart attack.

Now, it’s not a huge deal, right?

It just means I would have bombed the audition, but I would have been mad because I’d been there for hours.

I had learned to dance.

I dedicated a lot of time and brainpower to it.

If I had not learned the song, I would have been so frustrated because I wouldn’t have known.

But did you all study it?

And I’m like, yes, yes, in fact, I did.

And there’s only two other guys there for this part.

He’s like, well, we’ll all sing it together once and they’re each going to sing it once by yourselves.

And then we’re going to be done.

My most important instruction to you is hit those high notes.

First guy goes.

And he did OK.

But the guy, the musical director had told us this is a rock ballad.

I want you to hit these notes hard.

Don’t go falsetto.

First guy went falsetto.

I also thought he was too young looking to be the dad.

He is too young to be the dad in the show.

But fine.

He was also called back as the son, which is funny to be called back as both the dad and the son.

I was second.

I was very pleased with what I did with that song.

I was very pleased with what I did with the scenes.

And then another person went third.

And that person, you know, sometimes it’s just luck of the draw.

I think he hadn’t been able to study the song as much and he couldn’t figure out what the high notes were at the end.

And so he wasn’t hitting them because he didn’t know where they were.

We’ve all been there.

But then it was over.

And I was like, well, geez, the one guy looks too young and the other guy didn’t hit the high notes, which is what the musical director said was the most important thing.

This should be the bag.

But, you know, it can still they might know the other actors.

They might not think the person looks too young.

They might have already heard that person saying, and no, he could hit the notes if he had more time or more instruction, whatever.

There’s a million factors.

So I was feeling confident.

But what do I know?

And they said, and this was Sunday, they said, everybody will hear by Tuesday or Wednesday.

And then.

I’m sorry, this was all Saturday.

They say everybody here by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Do you like that?

I just leave my thinking pauses and I do.

So then literally Sunday, the next day, Lauren’s at her rehearsal for her show.

And she’s like, hey, have you heard anything?

I’m like, no.

Why?

Who do you know who’s heard?

Well, this person is in my show tells me that these people have heard.

And I’m like, oh, that’s not good because several people, several people with, you know, parts going up and down the cast list knew that they were cast and I hadn’t heard anything, which was sad.

I was bummed because I really it’s rare that I leave a callback and they get I got that one, but I left that callback and thought I got that one.

There is another chapter to this story, though.

I’ll tell you that chapter tomorrow.