Usually this show has a cold open.

Yesterday it didn’t have a cold open and people were concerned.

But today, I want to be clear, there is a cold open.

This is it. Your Daily Lex Why did the theme song sound insane in yesterday’s episode?

I don’t know.

It shouldn’t sound insane today.

Today it looks to me like it’s correct.

So, we’ll see.

Hopefully it survives.

Anyway, it’s Thursday, June 4th, which means it’s time for another Your Daily Lex.

And this one, I’m going to talk about why I’m a bad dad and why I’m not a bad dad.

We’ll cover both because I think they’re both important topics, don’t you?

I’m home alone at press time.

Not like Macaulay Culkin in the early 90s.

One of my favorite memories of the Home Alone movie and Macaulay Culkin’s rise to fame in said movie, the first one.

We don’t acknowledge the existence of the other ones.

My dad was just so mad.

He was so offended at Macaulay Culkin’s performance because he said, you know, Lex would do this part so much better.

Macaulay and I are about the same age, almost precisely.

And he’s like, you know, that kid’s not a good actor.

Lex would have acted this so much better.

I don’t think it helped that I hadn’t auditioned for the movie, didn’t audition for any movies, had no agent or manager and wasn’t in LA.

But my dad was still mad.

He’s like, come on, Lex would have been better.

But anyway, I’m home alone.

Why am I home alone?

Because Sierra and Liam already went back to their school because they’re both in tonight’s big showcase, one of the big end of the year shows.

He’ll be playing in three songs.

She’ll be singing a slew of songs.

And I’m not going because I have rehearsal for Jagged Little Pill.

Ani and Lauren just left seconds ago to go see said show, which starts early.

But I can’t go because I got to do my thing.

So I’m a bad dad because I’m not supporting it.

And when I auditioned for the show, Lauren auditioned for it as well.

And Lauren could have been in the show, but she decided eventually not to because she didn’t think it was right for both parents to miss seeing this end of year show.

And she’s probably right.

Sometimes I don’t force my kids to see my stuff.

Sometimes my kids just don’t see my stuff.

Like the younger two didn’t see Avenue Q because it was inappropriate.

They didn’t see Misery because that would be scary.

And, you know, sometimes their schedules don’t allow them to see my stuff.

I have a band gig tomorrow that they won’t see because it’s in a bar and they’re too young.

I did an improv show recently that they couldn’t see because it was 21 and up.

They don’t go see every comedy sports show because even though it’s different every time, it’s also the same every time, you know?

So, you know, once you’ve seen a hundred improv shows, you’ve seen them all.

But they don’t see everything I do and I can’t see everything they do and that’s just how it is.

And I’m cool about it.

Liam doesn’t love musicals, which is funny because he loves music, but he doesn’t love musicals.

A rock musical, even that, he doesn’t love, despite the fact that he loves rock music, because I think he doesn’t think that they are rocky enough.

I don’t know.

But he doesn’t want to see my show, so he probably won’t.

That’s not to say that there’s a zero chance that Lauren will convince him to go see it, but I will not force him by any stretch.

If he doesn’t want to see it, then, like, why bother?

Ani, on the flip side, loves to see shows that I’m in and credits Batboy with getting them into college because before Ani submitted their application at Emerson, they saw my production of Batboy the Musical and changed one of their essays to be about Batboy and their interpretation of, like, the real meaning of Batboy.

And they got into Emerson and they got a huge scholarship, so way to go musical theater, I guess.

But yeah, good times.

So anyway, I don’t know.

Last night’s rehearsal was much better than the previous one.

We got to do a lot more stuff and tonight we’re supposed to run the whole show in costume.

We’ve not done costumes before, so that’ll be fun.

And we’re going to have to stop sometimes, which we know, but running is good.

I just want to get that show in my system.

You get it.

I want to get it in my bones, in my body, in my blood.

I don’t know.

I want to just get better at the show.

And we have a chance to do that, so here we go.

I think that’s all I have for you today.

So I’m a good dad because I don’t force my kids to go to the show.

And I’m a bad dad because I’m missing my kids’ show.

What a jerk I am.

Anyway, I hope you are having a wonderful Thursday.

I hope my theme song is fixed for you.

And, yeah, I hope you’re feeling the love out there.

I don’t know.

I have to figure out dinner.

Oh, man.

That does give me one quick additional topic, which is that I’ve been working with a trainer for a year and a half, and now I’m supposed to see how many calories my smart ring, my aura ring, says I’m burning each day, and eat more than that.

So if it says I’m burning 2,800, 2,900, 3,000 calories a day, I’m supposed to eat 150 to 300 more calories than that.

That’s a lot of calories.

It’s fun.

Eating a lot of calories is fun.

I’m just going to say it.

I’m just going to own it.

It’s fun to eat a lot of food.

Anyway, that’s all I got.

Goodbye.

Lex.